Tumblr is like an IV drip of photos, quotes and gifs, an IV that drip can be customized, just like a sparkly pink strawberry frappucino, to give you the highest dose of cute fashion content, glitter and Sanrio love your brain can physically stand. If you haven’t yet joined the ranks of heart-ers and rebloggers around the world, you are definitely missing out! Think of all the pink and kawaii photos you could be devouring right this minute!
But… what if you’re not kawaii enough to fit it? Oh no! What if the other kawaii bloggers reblog about you and say mean things? Never fear, my pastel darlings, I have the ultimate guide (in five easy steps) right here to having not just a cute tumblr – no, a super kawaii tumblr.
1. Generate a super kawaii username.
Using the words from a few lolita prints will usually do the trick. Here’s some buzzwords you can easily mix up into a cute username: star, princess, candy, milk, pony, magic, parade, strawberry, candy, sugar, music, honey, rabbit. Go crazy.
2. Find a super kawaii tumblr theme. Install it.
This is self-explanatory (psst… try cute-backgrounds on tumblr. You’re welcome). For computer experts: cover all your info with blinking gifs of unicorns and cake with faces.
Not a photo of you of course! You want a photo of some typically kawaii girl, even if it’s someone else’s! Girls with colored hair, lolitas with blush Microsoft Paint-ed onto their faces, or Asian models are all excellent choice. For bonus points, don’t mention your real name. Change it to something sugary cute, or make your real name sound Japanese. Tip: try combining basic syllables from your own name to make a Japanese name. Emily can be Emi, Marissa could be Mari or Risa… Endless options! Be creative!
Finding original pictures? You don’t need that kind of hardwork! Just reblog any cute photo you see of lolitas, Rilakkuma, Starbucks, big eyelashes, or cute anime girls. Foolproof: search tumblr for the word ‘kawaii’; reblog everything. Required: Intersperse with the odd hentai (anime porn) picture or adorably printed foul language, to let everyone see how edgy you are even if you are kawaii. Bonus: pink cats with inverted crucifixes.
5. Now you’re super kawaii!
How do you stay super kawaii? You’ve gotta keep practicing! Keep your kawaii quota up by…
- posting GPOY (gratuitous pictures of yourself, preferably the ones where you wear big glasses and pouty lips with a V-sign)
- reblogging non-stop from morning ’til night
- remind everyone when you’re going to sleep
- post pictures whenever you buy anything remotely cute, or
- whenever you eat anything at Starbucks, a Japanese restaurant, or a French pastry shop
- start a blog pretending to be your toy dog, cat, pet bunny, or hamster
And don’t forget to thank you followers! After all, they’re all kawaii bad-asses too!
Hey… in case anyone didn’t realize… this is just for laughs! After all, I’m a stereotypical kawaii tumblr too ;) Comment with a link to your tumblr if you love kawaii microblogging too!